In my dream, I'm in her house with her three cats watching them when she just appears out of nowhere. She had her hair pulled half up and the rest is down, she's happy and smiling like everything is ok and nothing has happened. I followed her around the house because I'm freaking out that she's there. I remember pulling my phone out and texting my boyfriend not knowing what to do because she had died the day before. Grannimaw was doing laundry and was talking about going outside and I kept telling her she can't go outside and she just waved her hand at me and smiled. Mom opened the backdoor and Grannimaw was standing right there in front of her but she couldn't see Grannimaw whatsoever. I told mom that Grannimaw wanted to go outside and mom said, "Mama, you can't go outside." Grannimaw bent her head down and disappeared. I woke up and ran to mom crying and told her about the dream and mom just looked at me like I was crazy.
I blocked out the dream after that because it bothered me so much but after remembering the dream, it kinda makes me wonder if that's how she wanted to be remembered because she was so happy and acted the way she use to when I was little and she babysit me. She looked exactly the way she use to when she was in good health but I have no idea what the going outside part means.
Grannimaw was a strong-willed person but was so hateful and mean towards her own daughter (my mom) and treated her so badly and hurt mom every chance she got because Grannimaw blamed her for alot of her own stupidity like getting pregnant when she was 15 and making mom pay for it by treating her like a fuck-up but loved her 2nd daughter (my aunt) and babied her like she was a prodigy child and always made mom feel belittled and like she was a mistake. My aunt got 80% of everything in the house and Grannimaw left my aunt's bratty-ass kids who are so spoiled it's sickening, pretty everything else. Mom got 20% of everything and didn't leave my brother and I anything all because she hated my dad. What doesn't make sense is that Grannimaw did nothing but praise my brother and I for being so well-mannered and favorited us over my cousins because my cousins are spoiled brats who get literally everything they want and stick their hands out for everything and are so fucking disrespectful, it pisses me off but yet they were left over half of everything in the house even after my brother and I were her caretakers in her final months and we weren't even recognized because my grandmother hated my dad because he's an ex-con and he told her what he thought of her and how she was a bad mom to her own child just because she spread her legs and had the nerve to blame mom for her own stupidity.
I recently found out that when mom was pregnant with me, dad and mom pitched money together and got my grandmother a charm bracelet that said #1 Grandma on it and tried giving it to Grannimaw and she threw it back at my mom and wouldn't have anything to do with my parents whatsoever until mom was about 8 months pregnant with me. That's fucking crazy. Had I known Grannimaw was such a bitch towards to my parents, I would have given her a piece of my mind when she was still alive and ripped her ass up and down and tore her little world apart because you never do that to your child, you never abandon them and fuck them over when they need you most, you never make your own child feel worthless and like a fuck-up just because you couldn't keep your legs closed.
I have alot of mixed emotions about Grannimaw now. I loved her when she was alive but now that I know how hateful she was and how mean she was, I really don't know how I feel about her. I still care but I just want to know why she was so hateful and why she played favorites.