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ColorfulStarsInAJar

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Changes

1 min read
Sorry I haven't been on here for a while. I've been busy between work and just about everything else. Two of my cats died, Houdini and Kitty. We don't know what happened to them. One day they were ok and the next, they weren't. Daniel and I got into a fairly bad argument and almost broke up. Mom is getting worse. My grandmothers house went up for sale after a year. I found two new anime's. Dad might be leaving mom. It's pretty much been one thing after another and there's also the chance our call center might be closing because AT&T have their heads so far up their ass', they're being unreal about what they expect on every call and because they're being overzealous and they're expecting waaaaaaay too much from every fucking agent they have, almost all of the agents in the building are getting fed up pretty quick about the changes and the way AT&T is acting.
I'm getting off here to go to bed.  
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I just watched 5 episodes of Naruto Shippuden up to the point where Naruto and Nine Tails basically became friends. Gotta love YouTube lol. 
Prior to watching the episodes, I just looked through fan art and pieced it together but actually watching the episodes was fucking ridiculous and reminded me why I love the story-line so much and the overall anime. There was alot of crying when Obito saw Kakashi kill Rin but it makes sense as to why he's doing what he's doing. Losing the person you love more than anything else can break anyone and witnessing their death is just as bad if not worse. It made me like Zetsu more as well. 
Another thing I recently picked back up as Bleach. I'm to the point where Ulquiorra and Ichigo fight and Ichigo is in hollow form. I'm hesitant to move past that though because I've heard so many things. One of which is Ichigo losing his power because a co-worker and I discuss it and he basically filled me in on everything and I'm kind of worried that after the fight between Ichigo and Ulquiorra, I'll lose interest because Ulquiorra is my favorite character. 
I'm going to bed. Night ya'll 
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The new year started off decent and has slowly gone to shit. Between work and home life, everything has gone right back to the way it was before Grannimaw passed but worse. Mom isn't taking her medicine and she's right back to being a psycho and a self-righteous bitch who loves making people miserable. She went to the doctor to up her dosage and ended up getting her dosage up-ed and getting the doctor to extend her time of leave at work from three months to a year because she's not accepting anything with Grannimaw and is trying to be spiteful towards her sister but it's not working the way she wants it to and is taking it out on us. 
I can understand being upset that your mother died and hurting but not seven months later after she's passed. Yes, I loved Grannimaw too but I'm not taking it out on everyone that she didn't leave me anything in the will. Mom is upset because she didn't get what she wanted from her mom and she was lied to. I can understand both of those but to take it out on your family and treat them like shit and to constantly make your own children cry just because you're too fucking stupid to suck it up and accept that you weren't loved and your mother gets old real fucking quick. 
Dad and I have discussed it plenty of times and we both agree that mom has lost it and she needs to take her medicine and move on because mom has done nothing but make him and I feel like shit and she tries arguing with him and I just to make us upset and miserable just like she is. I'm gradually beginning to hate her again and to just drop dead because I'm tired of her constantly yelling and being a fucking psycho because she's too fucking pathetic to suck it up and be a fucking mom and a wife. She's right back to being negative, treating everyone like shit, demanding money left and right, pawning shit to get money, and demanding I give her money that I don't have and constantly putting her hand out like I have money flowing out of my ass and before too long she's probably going to pawn my laptop because she's that hard up on money. 
What kills me is that she got $30,000 and it's completely gone. No one knows where it went to nor will she say then has the nerve to tell me not to spend all my money because she needs it knowing that Daniel and I have a date planned Saturday and she doesn't even care and has done nothing but bad mouth him because he got a job and she's demanding that he take me out to dinner instead of me taking him out to dinner and him get me a shitload of things instead of me getting him stuff. I never knew what him and I do is her business. 
Anyway, sorry about the rant. Ya'll know I rant alot and it's usually about mother and just about everything else. Sorry. 
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Weird Dream

2 min read
I had a dream that I swam in the ocean and a lake connected to the ocean with whales and my grandmother was in the dream.
I remember swimming along side a whale and there was one whale in particular that didn't like me and he tried hitting me with his fin. The scenery was like in murky swamp water but it wasn't if that makes sense. I remember there was a sunken ship too and I had a snorkel but I didn't have to come up for air. It was peaceful and beautiful. Then in the middle of the ocean there was an island with a pool attached to it on the other side and when I got in the pool my grandmother was there and she was having a blast along with a bunch of other people. She was laughing and smiling and having a hell of a time just like when I was little and she wasn't sick. She was happy and I was happy that she enjoying herself. Then I woke up. 
I've been trying to figure out what the dream means but I can't think of anything. The one thing that bothers me the most is that my grandmother was there and she was so happy. Eversince she passed away, I've had weird dreams about her but I want everything dealing with Grannimaw's estate to be over and done with because of issues with the woman who claims to be my aunt and how she's treated mom and made mom snap forcing her on medicine. I still think about her and I still miss her but I still have mixed emotions about her after everything I found out after she passed away. I want to remember the woman who made chicken noodle for me when it was cold and I came in from playing outside with the next door neighbors dog, Annie, but after everything I found out it changed my opinion of her and my view of her but since I was her caretaker in her final months, the fragile old woman curled up in a ball sleeping all day and waking up talking to people who had been gone for years is all I'm remembering and how she yelled for mom and didn't recognize me. 
After all that, I still have dreams about her. 
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A Rant

5 min read
I just want to rant. This is something that is bothering me and if you don't like it just ignore it. 
I have a co-worker and she acts out for attention. I've been sick for two weeks and I've only taken two days off and it was because I was vomiting and had to stay in the bathroom most of the time. I've lived off cough drops, tissues and hot soup on my lunches. I've been sucking it up and dealing with it. She was perfectly fine five minutes before she went on her break and she came back and she went from being perfectly fine to poor pity me, I'm so sick and I have to go home and made scene out of it. I looked at her and I said, "You're fucking kidding me, right?". She narrowed her eyes at me and she got upset and came off with this shit of you just don't understand me, I'm so sick. I just stared at her and was amazed by the stupidity coming out of her mouth hole. I told her she was a fucking baby and to suck it up because I've been sick the last two weeks and I came up with the exception of two days. She had the nerve to walk down the row making a parade about how sick she is and then she didn't come in the next day. People on the team made comments about it and I agreed with them. 
Now, before anyone starts in, this co-worker has tried starting shit with me and my boyfriend. The first time she seen Daniel, him and I were walking back to work and she walked past us and she looked back at us. I went into the lobby and she was there clocking in from her lunch and she made the comment that he was cute and to pass him off to her when I was done with him. I got pissed and I told her to back off. She told me to calm down because she was just joking. I did a fake laugh and I told her to fuck off. She then told me, "Humph, I'm into black guys anyway." and pranced off. I ended up finding out later that she told our team manager that her husband can be her sugar daddy and my TM told her to fuck off and since then doesn't like her. She stole her current girlfriend from a girl who actually loved this chick and then threw her current girlfriend away and has fucked with her non-stop. There's a girl on the team who likes a new guy on the team and when this co-worker found out, she automatically had a thing for him and she just had to have him and she has done nothing but flirt with him and she does it right in front of the girl. 
I'm sorry but I'm going to have to be moved from this bitch because I cannot stand her and I hate her and how she acts out for attention and tries stealing people's guys from them. After the incident in the lobby, she's kept her mouth shut and she hasn't said a thing about Daniel. She doesn't even look at him. He works up there now and every time he comes to my desk she turns her head and looks away. 
I know I don't need to say anything but Goddamn, it's so hard to look at her and not want to rip her fucking head off. She's loud, obnoxious and she does shit in front of people knowing it'll piss them off. I want so badly to catch her alone one day and rip into her because no one at the call center likes her nor does anyone care for her existence here. She's been here in town for almost a year and already she's made so many people hate her and she thinks it's cute. How do you deal with someone who likes ruining everything for people? 
She came in today and was perfectly fine. I made the comment that she must be feeling better and she smiled and was like, "You got me sick but I doubled up on medicine and I'm all better!". I just stared at her because I had to stop myself from busting out laughing and punching her in the mouth because she was never sick to begin with. When she went on her lunch, one of the people on the team asked if I was still sick. I told them yeah but I'm not as bad as I was and another woman on the team put Mucinex DM on my desk and patted me on the back and told me to get better because she couldn't stand seeing me sick and she missed seeing accolades from my customers bragging about me. The same woman told the co-worker to feel better and she told her she was fine and wasn't sick at all. 
What sense does it make to tell people you're sick then come back and be perfectly ok and then rub it in the persons face who's been sick for two weeks? Where does someone get off on that and how? 
I'm sorry about the long rambling. It just irritates me that someone would do that shit then act like they're all better while the person who's been sick for two weeks is still sick and still pulls herself together enough to go to work even though she's dizzy, coughs ever few minutes, has a headache, sneezes ever other time she tries talking, has joint aches and is tired from not getting any sleep and she still puts on a smile for her customers and she still helps them with their issues.
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Changes by ColorfulStarsInAJar, journal

Playing Catch Up by ColorfulStarsInAJar, journal

New Years Beginning by ColorfulStarsInAJar, journal

Weird Dream by ColorfulStarsInAJar, journal

A Rant by ColorfulStarsInAJar, journal